Because it's got the word 'pie' in it

Oh Lordy, it's another B3ta Question of the Week! This time, the question was "Tell us about crap meals out"

Wedding Supper
The wife and I were invited to a wedding involving some distant branch of the in-laws. A shotgun affair, they'd done the whole wedding on the cheap and the meal was a rather sparse buffet. Naturally, the top table got first go on the food, and we watched with horror as the bride, groom and family (who suffered from what we might generously call "pie retention") tucked in like Mr Creosote on a night out. The two bottles of sparkling wine were necked in about thirty seconds, and Mr Kipling might have been exceedingly proud of his cake, had the chief bridesmaid not gone at it with both hands and a mouth like the opening of the Mersey Tunnel.

I got a lettuce leaf and two dry-roast peanuts, and I counted myself lucky.

By the time the starving hordes returned from the chip shop they'd missed the fight, and everyone had been thrown out of the village hall as a result. We got home just in time for dinner.